Introduction

How to dissolve a customary marriage in Anambra and Imo State is one of the most common questions asked by people who have separated from their spouses but are unsure whether the marriage has legally ended. Many assume that sending a wife back to her parents, living apart for years, or refunding the bride price privately is enough. In many cases, it is not. Many people also confuse separation with divorce. If you are unsure whether living apart legally ends a marriage, read our guide on Does Separation End a Marriage in Nigeria?

The consequences usually appear years later. A person wants to remarry, a dispute arises over family land, or relatives challenge someone’s right to inherit from a deceased spouse. By then, the marriage middlemen may have died, family elders may no longer be available, and there may be no reliable evidence that the customary marriage was ever properly dissolved.

The Court of Appeal has given direct guidance on the customary law applicable in Anambra and Imo States. This article explains the correct legal procedure, when the families and marriage middlemen must be involved, the role of the refund of the bride price, when a Customary Court becomes necessary, and the mistakes that continue to invalidate customary divorces in these States.

What Law Governs the Dissolution of a Customary Marriage in Anambra and Imo State?

The law governing the dissolution of a customary marriage in Anambra and Imo State is different from the law governing statutory marriage. Many people mistakenly assume that every divorce in Nigeria follows the Matrimonial Causes Act. That is incorrect.

A customary marriage is not dissolved under the Matrimonial Causes Act. Instead, its dissolution is governed primarily by the applicable native law and custom of the parties and, where the judicial route is adopted, by the relevant Customary Courts Law of the State.

This distinction was clearly recognised by the Court of Appeal in Nwangwa v. Ubani (1997) 10 NWLR (Pt. 526) 559. The Court explained that the dissolution of a customary law marriage is far less formal than the dissolution of a statutory marriage. Unlike a statutory marriage, the parties do not have to prove that the marriage has broken down irretrievably. They are not required to establish any of the grounds contained in the Matrimonial Causes Act, nor do the statutory defences applicable to High Court divorce proceedings apply.

The Court nevertheless emphasised an equally important principle. Although a customary marriage may be dissolved without first obtaining a court order, it cannot be ended casually. There must be recognised formal acts required by the applicable custom. Simply deciding that the marriage is over, leaving the matrimonial home, or sending a spouse away does not, by itself, dissolve the marriage.

For marriages contracted under the customary law of Anambra and Imo States, the Court of Appeal adopted the customary law contained in Dr. S. N. Obi’s Customary Law Manual. According to that authority, an extra-judicial customary divorce requires recognised customary procedures involving the families, the marriage middlemen and the refund of the bride price, unless the matter is taken before the Customary Court. Those requirements are discussed below.

Can a Customary Marriage Be Dissolved Without Going to Court?

Yes. A customary marriage in Anambra and Imo State may be dissolved without first obtaining an order of the Customary Court, provided the requirements of the applicable customary law are fully complied with.

This is one of the important principles established by the Court of Appeal in Nwangwa v. Ubani (1997) 10 NWLR (Pt. 526) 559. The Court held that the dissolution of a customary law marriage is not as stringent as the dissolution of a marriage under the Marriage Act. Unlike a statutory marriage, a customary marriage may be dissolved extra-justicially. The parties are not required to file a divorce petition or prove any statutory ground for divorce before the marriage can come to an end.

However, that does not mean a customary marriage can be ended informally or by mere agreement between the spouses. The Court emphasised that there must be recognised formal acts showing that the marriage has been brought to an end in accordance with the applicable customary law. In most communities, both families play an important role in the dissolution process.

This is where many people get it wrong. A husband cannot dissolve a customary marriage merely by sending his wife back to her parents. Likewise, a wife cannot simply pack her belongings and assume that the marriage has ended. Living apart for many years, writing letters ending the relationship, blocking communication, or even beginning another relationship does not, by itself, dissolve a customary marriage. If your marriage was celebrated under the Marriage Act rather than customary law, the procedure is completely different. See our complete guide on the process of divorce in Nigeria.

The critical question is not whether the parties have separated. The question is whether the customary procedure recognised by the community’s law has been followed.

This principle was reaffirmed by the Court of Appeal in Amaka Ezeaku v. Delphine Zikere Okonkwo (2012) 4 NWLR (Pt. 1290) 529. In that case, the parties had lived apart for about seventeen years. During that period, the deceased husband lived with another woman, had children with her and even swore an affidavit describing her as his only wife. Despite those facts, the Court held that the first customary marriage had not been dissolved.

The Court emphasised that a customary marriage does not come to an end merely because the parties have separated, have lived apart for many years or one spouse has started another relationship. A marriage, whether statutory or customary, is not dissolved by the mere passage of time. It remains valid until it has been lawfully terminated in accordance with the applicable law and custom.

The decision in Ezeaku v. Okonkwo complements Nwangwa v. Ubani. While Nwangwa explains the customary procedure for dissolving a marriage under the customary law applied in Anambra and Imo States, Ezeaku illustrates the consequences of failing to follow that procedure. Even after seventeen years of separation, the court refused to treat the marriage as having end because there was no satisfactory evidence that it had been properly dissolved.

The Five Steps for Dissolving a Customary Marriage Extra-Judicially in Anambra and Imo State

Where the parties choose not to go to the Customary Court, the Court of Appeal in Nwangwa v. Ubani (1997) 10 NWLR (Pt. 526) 559, adopting the customary law set out in Dr. S. N. Obi’s Customary Law Manual, recognised the following procedure for an extra-judicial customary divorce in Anambra and Imo States.

Step 1: Both Families Must Meet

The dissolution process begins with a meeting between the husband (or, where appropriate, his parents) and the wife’s parents. The meeting is not merely a social gathering. It is the formal customary forum where the marriage is brought to an end.

Step 2: The Marriage Middlemen and Family Elders Must Participate

The meeting should take place in the presence of the marriage middlemen and one or more elders representing each family.

Their participation is important because they witnessed the creation of the marriage and, under the customary law adopted by the Court of Appeal, they also witness its dissolution.

Step 3: The Families Agree on the Refund of the Bride Price

The parties then determine how much of the bride price and other marriage expenses should be refunded.

In reaching that decision, they may consider factors such as:

• the duration of the marriage;
• whether children were born during the marriage; and
• other circumstances recognised by the applicable custom.

Step 4: The Bride Price Is Refunded Through the Marriage Middlemen

Once agreement has been reached, the refundable bride price is paid back to the husband through the marriage middlemen.

This is one of the most important stages of the process.

In Nwangwa v. Ubani, the Court held that there was no valid dissolution because there was no evidence that the bride price had been refunded and no evidence that the marriage middlemen participated in the process.

Step 5: The Marriage Is Formally Declared Dissolved

After the recognised customary procedure has been completed and the bride price has been refunded through the marriage middlemen, the marriage is formally declared dissolved.

Only then can the parties properly say that the customary marriage has come to an end under the customary law applied in Anambra and Imo States.

A Practical Word of Caution

Although the law recognises this extra-judicial procedure, it is often safer to obtain a customary court order, particularly where either party intends to remarry, relocate abroad, or where there may later be disputes concerning children, inheritance or family property. A court order creates a permanent judicial record that is far easier to prove than relying solely on the memories of family members years after the event.

However, the procedure explained above reflects the customary law adopted by the Court of Appeal in Nwangwa v. Ubani (1997) 10 NWLR (Pt. 526) 559 as applicable to the parties, who were married under the customary law of Ihiala in present-day Anambra State. It should not be assumed that every community in Nigeria follows exactly the same procedure.

For example, in Eni v. Eni (2010) LPELR-4121(CA), the Court of Appeal considered the customary law of the Adun people of Cross River State. Under that custom, the act relied upon to terminate the marriage was the husband’s return of the wife to her family. The District Court found that the marriage had been dissolved because the husband had returned the wife to her family in accordance with Adun native law and custom, and the Court of Appeal upheld that finding.

The lesson is an important one. Nigerian customary law is not uniform. The validity of a customary divorce depends on the native law and custom governing the particular marriage. While Nwangwa v. Ubani establishes the customary procedure applicable to Anambra and Imo States, a different community may recognise different acts as bringing a customary marriage to an end. A court will therefore determine the issue by examining the specific custom pleaded and proved by the parties.

How Do You Prove a Customary Divorce in Anambra and Imo State?

A customary divorce is only as valuable as your ability to prove it.

Many people complete the customary process, go their separate ways and assume the matter has ended forever. Years later, the issue resurfaces during a second marriage, a dispute over inheritance, administration of an estate, ownership of family land or child custody proceedings. One party suddenly claims that no divorce ever took place.

When that happens, the burden falls on the person asserting the divorce to prove that the marriage was validly dissolved.

This is precisely why lawyers encourage parties to properly document every stage of the dissolution process.

What Evidence Can Prove a Customary Divorce?

The stronger your evidence, the easier it will be to establish that the marriage ended according to the applicable customary law.

Useful evidence includes:

• the testimony of the marriage middlemen;
• evidence from elders or family representatives who attended the dissolution meeting;
• documentary evidence showing the refund of the bride price;
• minutes or written records of the family meeting;
• photographs or video recordings of the dissolution ceremony;
• correspondence acknowledging that the marriage had ended; and
• where applicable, a certified true copy of the Customary Court’s judgement dissolving the marriage.

In Nwangwa v. Ubani (1997) 10 NWLR (Pt. 526) 559, the Court of Appeal rejected the argument that the marriage had been dissolved because the evidence fell short of what the applicable customary law required. The Court noted that there was no evidence that the bride price had been refunded and no evidence that the marriage middlemen participated in the dissolution process. Those omissions proved fatal to the appellants’ case.

The Court also rejected a witness’s bare assertion that the marriage “was dissolved according to our customs”. According to Tobi JCA, such a conclusion was insufficient. The court expected evidence of what actually took place, including the customary acts performed during the dissolution. In other words, a conclusion is not evidence.

Keep Your Records Safe

Even where the divorce is amicable, it is wise to preserve every available document.

Many customary divorces are challenged ten or twenty years later, long after key witnesses have died or memories have faded. Documents created at the time of the dissolution often become the most reliable evidence before the court.

If there is any likelihood of future disputes over remarriage, succession, land, inheritance or children’s welfare, obtaining an order of the Customary Court is usually the safest option because it creates a permanent judicial record. If you are concerned about proving the existence or dissolution of a marriage where formal documentation is limited, you may also find our guide on Divorce Without a Marriage Certificate in Nigeria helpful. It explains how Nigerian courts deal with marriage disputes where the usual documentary evidence is unavailable.

Can My Husband Divorce Me Just by Sending Me Away?

No. Under the customary law applied by the Court of Appeal in Nwangwa v. Ubani (1997) 10 NWLR (Pt. 526) 559, a husband cannot dissolve a customary marriage simply by sending his wife away or telling her never to return.

This is one of the most misunderstood aspects of customary divorce in Anambra and Imo States.

Many people believe that once a husband asks his wife to leave the matrimonial home, the marriage automatically comes to an end. That is not the law.

In Nwangwa v. Ubani, the husband wrote letters stating that his wife was no longer needed in the compound and later informed her that she would not be returning to his house. The Court of Appeal held that those letters did not amount to a valid dissolution of the customary marriage.

The court gave several reasons.

First, one of the letters stated that the wife was no longer needed in the compound “till further notice.” According to the Court, those words showed that there was no final decision to end the marriage.

Secondly, although another letter stated that the wife would not return to the matrimonial home, the Court held that this still fell short of a valid customary divorce. What was required was compliance with the recognised customary procedure governing the parties’ marriage.

Most importantly, there was no evidence that the bride price had been refunded and no evidence that the marriage middlemen participated in the dissolution process, both of which the Court regarded as essential under the applicable customary law.

The customary marriage therefore remained valid despite the husband’s clear intention that the relationship should end.

The Lesson from Nwangwa v. Ubani

The decision teaches an important legal principle.

A spouse’s intention to end a marriage is not the same as a lawful dissolution of the marriage.

Under the customary law applied in Anambra and Imo States, the recognised customary procedure must be followed before the marriage comes to an end. Until then, the parties remain husband and wife in the eyes of the law.

This distinction becomes particularly important where one party intends to remarry. A person who assumes that a customary marriage has ended simply because the spouses have separated may unknowingly enter another marriage while the first one still subsists.

When Should You Go to the Customary Court Instead?

Although the customary law applicable in Anambra and Imo States recognises the extra-judicial dissolution of a customary marriage, it is not always the most appropriate option.

Where both families cooperate, there is no disagreement, and the customary requirements have been properly observed, an extra-judicial dissolution may be sufficient. However, where there is any real possibility of a future dispute, obtaining an order of the Customary Court is usually the safer course.

You should strongly consider commencing proceedings in the Customary Court if any of the following applies:

1. The husband and the wife’s families cannot agree on dissolving the marriage.
2. There is a dispute over the refund of the bride price, or one party refuses to accept or refund it in accordance with the applicable customary law.
3. Either party refuses to participate in the customary dissolution process or disputes the validity of the extra-judicial divorce.
4. There are disputes concerning the custody, care or maintenance of the children. The dissolution of the marriage does not determine who should have custody of the children. The court will always consider the child’s welfare and best interests. For a detailed explanation of how Nigerian courts approach custody disputes, read Child Custody in Nigeria: How Courts Decide.
5. There is disagreement over ownership of family land, the matrimonial home or other property acquired during the marriage. Questions of ownership are determined separately from the dissolution itself. If property rights are likely to become contentious, my article Property Division After Divorce in Nigeria: Who Gets What? explains the legal principles that apply.
6. Either party denies that the marriage has already been dissolved, making it necessary for the court to determine the parties’ marital status. In situations like this, obtaining early legal advice can often prevent lengthy and expensive litigation. If you need professional assistance, you can learn more about the family law services we provide at Nigerian Family Law Services.
7. Either party intends to remarry. Before entering another marriage, it is important to ensure that the existing customary marriage has been properly dissolved. Failing to do so may have serious legal consequences. My article Remarriage After Divorce in Nigeria discusses the issues you should consider before taking that step.
8. Either party lives outside Nigeria or intends to relocate abroad. A court order is generally much easier to prove internationally than an informal family arrangement. If you are living overseas, you may also find How to Divorce in Nigeria While Living Abroad: A Complete Guide useful.
9. There is a real possibility of future inheritance or succession disputes. A certified true copy of a customary court judgement provides reliable evidence of the parties’ marital status long after family members and customary witnesses may no longer be available.

A customary court order creates an official judicial record of the dissolution. Unlike an informal family meeting, a court judgement can be proved many years later simply by obtaining a certified true copy from the court. That single document can prevent disputes over marital status, inheritance, child custody and the validity of a subsequent marriage.

A Lesson From My Practice

One of the reasons I generally recommend obtaining a customary court order in appropriate cases is that I have seen first-hand how an undocumented customary divorce can lead to avoidable litigation.

In one matter I handled, the parties had already dissolved their customary marriage through the traditional family process. The bride price had been refunded during the extra-judicial dissolution, and both families conducted themselves for years as though the marriage had come to an end.

Years later, one of the parties changed position and commenced proceedings before the Customary Court, asking the court to dissolve the marriage formally and to order the refund of the bride price, despite the fact that the bride price had already been refunded during the earlier extrajudicial dissolution.

What should have remained a settled family matter became contested litigation simply because the earlier dissolution had not been recorded in a way that could easily be proved before the court.

Frequently Asked Questions

1. Can I dissolve my customary marriage without going to court?

Yes. Under the customary law applicable in Anambra and Imo States, a customary marriage may be dissolved extra-judicially if the recognised customary procedure has been properly followed. However, where there is disagreement over the dissolution, child custody, family property, remarriage or inheritance, obtaining a customary court order is usually the safer option.

2. Is the refund of the bride price compulsory?

Under the customary law adopted by the Court of Appeal in Nwangwa v. Ubani (1997) 10 NWLR (Pt. 526) 559, refund of the bride price forms part of the recognised procedure for dissolving a customary marriage in Anambra and Imo States. Because customary law differs from one community to another, the applicable custom should always be identified before any steps are taken.

3. Can I remarry after an extra-judicial customary divorce?

Yes, provided your customary marriage has been validly dissolved. However, where there is any doubt about the validity of the dissolution, it is prudent to obtain a customary court order before remarrying. You may also wish to read my article on Remarriage After Divorce in Nigeria.

4. What is the safest way to prove that my customary marriage has been dissolved?

The strongest evidence is a certified true copy of the judgment of the customary court dissolving the marriage. Although an extra-judicial dissolution may be legally valid, a court order provides permanent documentary evidence that is far easier to prove if the dissolution is challenged years later.

Conclusion

Understanding how to dissolve a customary marriage in Anambra and Imo State is about more than ending a relationship. It is about ensuring that the dissolution is legally recognised, properly documented and capable of being proved whenever the need arises.

As the Court of Appeal made clear in Nwangwa v. Ubani (1997) 10 NWLR (Pt. 526) 559, a customary marriage does not end simply because the parties separate or because one spouse decides that the marriage is over. The recognised customary procedure must be followed. Where there are disputes over children, family property, remarriage or inheritance, obtaining a customary court order is often the safest and most practical course.

My experience in practice has also shown that what appears to be a settled extra-judicial divorce today can become the subject of costly litigation years later if it cannot be proved. Taking the appropriate legal steps at the time of the dissolution is almost always easier, less expensive and less stressful than trying to establish the facts many years afterwards.

Legal Disclaimer

This article is provided for general information and educational purposes only. It does not constitute legal advice and should not be relied upon as a substitute for legal advice on your particular circumstances. The applicable customary law may differ from one community to another, and every case depends on its own facts, evidence and the custom that governs the parties.

Have Questions About Your Situation?

If you are unsure whether your customary marriage has been properly dissolved, whether an extra-judicial dissolution is sufficient, or what legal steps you should take next, I will be pleased to assist.

You may call or WhatsApp: +234 904 553 2566